Masks
by WayTooSmartToBeBlonde
Summary: This is a series of 5 chapters, each in different POV's, about the masks we wear. It's written as journal entries. Better than it sounds and less confusing than it sounds too!
1. Lilly

**A/N:** I took this quiz on facebook a while back and the evil plot bunnies attacked me while I was distracted and refused to quit jumping around in my head until I wrote this. It's just the first installment to find out what you guys think about it. Unlike other times, even if you guys don't really like it, I'm going to write all the chapters, not just the first one. This one is in Lilly's POV and I hope you enjoy it. If you're looking for the romance in it you'll have to wait until the next chapter; sorry. Reviews are loved and cherished.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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Today in English and Composition the whole class had to take a personality quiz that would tell us what our 'masks' are and we had to write a five paragraph paper on our results.

Everyone thought that it was really lame at the start, but when we got our results back we started to take it more seriously. I thought it was pretty cool but I think my paper was a bit too detailed for my liking; I mean like, I don't really want the teacher knowing all that stuff about me, but if I didn't turn it in then she would write it out as an automatic F.

It really made me start to think about it though. I mean like, the result I got really surprised me with how accurate it was. Miley was really startled with my result and told me that it was practically the exact opposite of me but she just doesn't get what's always going on with me.

I can't even put it into words so it's no surprise that she doesn't get it and it's not like I go around pouring out all my negativity on her so she becomes all depressed and everything; I wouldn't like that. I like my Miley to be happy and not depressed.

So I hide it. Constantly. I can never let it show or else people would worry.

My mom already worries sometimes when neither Miley nor Oliver are around, because apparently I just get really quiet and serious and she worries that I have slight manic depression or something. I wish she'd just leave me alone. She is always bugging me, saying that she's worried that I'm going to run myself into depression permanently.

I'M NOT EVEN DEPRESSED!

She just doesn't get it. No-one really gets it.

I once told this guy that I was dating a year or two back about how I felt, and he started pitying me, non-stop. It was the single most annoying thing in the world, so I dumped him. He'd tell me he 'understands' in this stupid, quiet voice like he was trying to be gentle or something; it drove me crazy! He wouldn't leave me alone even after I dumped him.

I don't get it, what's so great about me? It's not like I'm that cool or popular or pretty. I don't get why Oliver and Miley hang out with me, for that matter either. I asked Miley that once but she just looked at my funny and asked if I was crazy. I didn't even bother to ask Oliver.

I don't really like telling Miley about my life but Oliver has been around long enough that I don't need to tell him, he already knows it all. I've always had friends, but only Ollie and Miley have ever really been there for me. I hope I'll never lose them.

Another key part of the way I feel about friendships is my twin. I've never told anyone about my twin, because it hurts too much to talk about, but I used to have a twin. He died shortly after we were born and I think that's what makes me feel like there's something that I'm missing. I've always felt this way; like there's a part of me that's gone.

I never even really met him. My mom actually kept it a secret for years that I was a twin because she didn't want to upset me and when I did find out I was really mad that she had kept him from me. His name was Isaac. I miss him a lot and I'm not sure how I can miss someone I've never met… but I do.

It's hard for me to talk about what I'm feeling 'cause when I try, it all just gets jumbled up and comes out as nothing more than gibberish. It's easier to write out how I feel. It gives me a chance to straighten out what I want to say and how I want to say it. Sometimes it's in the form of poetry, sometimes in the form of song. Sometimes even, like now, it's in the form of a journal entry.

Things go really well sometimes and I can make it through the day fine and dandy but that 'sometimes' is actually more like 'every once in a while… times'. Most of the time something happens at some point in the day that just sets me off and, if I'm lucky, I can hold it off until night, before I have a breakdown; but I'm not always lucky. Those are the times that my mom really worries or Miley gets scared for me or Oliver has to be the shoulder for me to cry on.

It hits me the hardest when I think about my dad or Isaac. I just get sad and upset when it's about Isaac but when it's my dad that causes a breakdown, I get frustrated and angry.

A lot of times I end up hurting myself somehow during the breakdowns triggered by my dad; I'll punch a wall, break a mirror and somehow cut myself, scream into my pillow until my throat's sore… I throw stuff sometimes which never ends well!

I guess I'll always have some issues that I can't settle, or questions that can't be answered, when it comes to my dad or Isaac and I can't change that so I just need to accept it. It's hard though, and it hurts.

So, you see…? My mask is pain.


	2. Oliver

**A/N:** Second chapter! This one was a little harder for me to write, mainly because my 'mask' isn't purity and it took me a bit to get into the groove on this one. Because it took me a bit to get into it, the start isn't as good as I had hoped but I think it's okay. It's in our dear little Ollie's POV and we all know how feminine he is, so that's why he seems a bit fruity at the start... I kinda like it. Here we go! Sorry if there are spelling mistakes or grammar or any kind of mistakes whatsoever!

Disclaimer still stands.

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Dear diary,

I ate this _really_ good sandwich at Miley's today; it was a ham sandwich with lettuce, pickles, cheese, ketchup, mustard, bacon, tomato, sour cream, some peanut butter, and this stuff that I'm not exactly sure what it was really… but it was amazing, I know that.

We went to the beach today and Lilly looked SMOKIN' hot in her bikini top and swim trunks. Her hair was all curly and smelled like apples, which is a good thing in my book; I like apples. She smiled at me when I told her she that her hair smelled good and the guys told me that it was a really good sign so I think she's totally in to me. That'd be awesome.

In school today, the class had to do a report on the answers to this really hard test that we took. I don't know what the point in taking it was, but I thought it was kinda cool and Lilly got really into it so I tried to take it seriously.

The answers were totally wrong for me but whatev'!

Like, the quiz said that 'I don't care what others think is right or wrong, I always use my own judgment to decide', which I don't think is true at all. I mean like, yeah sometimes I think people can be really stupid with how they choose to deal with stuff… and yeah, when I was wanting to break up with Sarah all my friends told me how I should do it and I didn't listen to them, but she broke up with me, so that doesn't really count! But then there was that one time when Miley and Lilly were trying to get me to stop being in love with Hannah Montana and I didn't listen to them...

Okay! So, maybe I don't always listen to what other people think I should or shouldn't do but that's just one thing!

It also said that 'I am always trying to be my true self' and I guess I can kind of see that. I don't mind what people think of me really so yeah I guess that part is right.

Alright, alright! Maybe the quiz really was right!

I keep finding all of these rules that people, over time, have made up that are really stupid and it annoys me. Most of the time I just ignore them 'cause they are pointless and ridiculous. It's a free country isn't it?! Screw the rules against skateboarding on private property! People should be free to live their lives the way they want to. I think that's why Sarah and I got along so well for a while.

My mom gets really mad at me when I ignore the rules, especially since she's a cop, but she's also proud that I'm standing up for what I believe in. She's always happy to drive me to any of the support events I want to go to. I see Sarah there a lot.

I've always tried to do the right thing, even when I was little and the other kids would pick on somebody else! It also makes Lilly smile when I stand up for people who get picked on so that makes it even more worth it. She has such a pretty smile…

I love being able to make people smile. I'll bring my mom home flowers sometimes just to see her smile and see the glow in her eyes as she's cutting the ends off the flowers and putting them in a vase. That's why I let Lilly and Miley make jokes at my expense so much; because they get a laugh out of it and I get to see them happy.

Sometimes Lilly will come over to see me when she's upset. She never really talks about it, she just cries and I just hold her. I hate seeing her hurt. It breaks my heart and makes me want to break the face of whoever hurt her. I don't let her leave until I've made her smile again though.

Even though people are great, sometimes I just need to get away. I love being around my friends and all but I need some time on my own also. A lot of times I'll go up on my roof and just spend the day up there. I write up there sometimes but only when inspiration really hits me.

I've screwed up sometimes but I've learned that I just have to accept that and move on. I have a hard time forgiving myself, even if the person I've hurt has already forgiven me.

I get really mad and jealous when a guy starts hitting on Lilly, but I try not to freak out on anyone 'cause the relationship never lasts that long anyway. I get really wrapped up in protecting Lilly when some jerk enters the picture and I try not to let anything happen to her but she can get really annoyed with it sometimes. Oops!

Life is pretty good though, I've got the girl of my dreams -even if she's just a friend right now- I've got the two most amazing best friends ever, a mom that loves me to death and is always there for me, and good health.

So maybe my mask really is purity!


	3. Mikayla

**A/N:** So this chapter was super hard for me. I wrote it and had no problem... until I realized how short it was. I tried to fatten it up a bit but it's still kinda skimpy. Sorry. Mikayla's POV and some cussing but it's not too bad by any means. I had a hard time deciding what her mask should be but I hope it turned out okay. We'll see. Sorry if you think it's sucky, I kinda do so feel free to tell me if you are thinking the same thing. R&R! Oh, and I'm not sure if it's really in character but I tried and probably failed but it's jsut a story so I don't really care.

Disclaimer _still_ stands!

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Today was my first day at Seaview High and, let me tell you, starting in the middle of the semester is annoying… I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm famous, either, but that's beside the point. It was quite a first day to say the least.

First I got ambushed by all these crazy fans when I walked in the door, then I got assigned this stupid locker that doesn't open and close properly so that I ended up late for my second class, and then I had to write this dumb paper in class.

I was almost ready to go back to homeschooling by the end of the day. And then I thought about that and said 'pshhh! Yeah, right!'!

I like the school a lot, but it's so much different from homeschooling. I mean like, writing a paper in class, instead of having time to type it up and check everything a couple times before I hand it in, is so weird to me.

I think the paper was okay but the subject was kinda ridiculous. It was some kind of personality quiz that told us what kind of 'masks' we wear. It's not like some quiz can tell me something about me that I didn't already know!

I mean like, of course I fend for myself; it's kind of hard not to when you're forced into it. When you're famous and in the spotlight all the time you have to be able to stand up for yourself!

I have to do things on my own a lot but that's okay cause I don't mind being on my own. My mom is always off setting up gigs or yelling at people, so it's not like she has time to drive me to the mall or even do something as simple as fix me lunch. But then again, I wouldn't let my mom fix me lunch anymore, it's not like I'm a baby; I can do stuff on my own.

I don't really have friends because I don't want to have to deal with all the fake people who just want to be friends with me because I'm famous. That's something I really hate; when people pretend to be your friend and then turn out to be a bitch imposter. I especially hate it when I thought we had gotten really close and then I find out they are just in it for the attention. That's why I like being around Miley. She's so real and honest with me. She doesn't even hesitate to tell me that an outfit I'm wearing looks ugly! She's such a great friend.

I can't let myself be vulnerable 'cause that would mean I'm weak and I have no time to be weak. Weak people annoy me… Like little miss Hannah Montana.

I can be a bit of a control freak sometimes… Like when I'm dancing, I have to be leading or there's going to be hell to pay. It tends to get me in trouble though, 'cause sometimes I get in over my head and everything just gets worse from there but I still try to make sure everyone thinks I've got everything under control. I'm expected to have everything under control so that what I need people to believe. I hate having to live up to people's expectations; sometimes I just want to be normal and ball my eyes out for once. It's torture to say the least.

Everything works out better when everyone stays out of my way and just lets me get to work on whatever I'm doing. No procrastination for me, baby! I'm all about getting it done so that I can move on and have fun. That way the work goes quickly and it gets done right. People can be such idiots when they put something together wrong or try to fix something and screw it up even worse.

I can't wait to move out of the house. Mom is suffocating me and I'm tired of all the stuff she wants me to do when all I want to do is have a day off. It's going to be so much nicer to be out on my own and not have to put up with her crap. When I go off to college I just hope I get a roommate that knows how to be invisible and quiet when I need to work but knows how to party when night rolls around.

Sometimes I wish I had a real best friend. Someone who I could actually talk with and not have to worry that she's going to go leak all my shit to the press or something afterward. A lot of times I wish I wasn't famous or could somehow turn it on and off when I want, so that way I could have a normal life and not be followed by paparazzi everywhere I go. I miss being a normal kid with normal problems and normal friends.

Don't get me wrong, being a star is great, but it definitely comes at a high price.

Well my mom is yelling at me to 'Get my ass ready for the show tonight and get down stairs before she gets it down there herself' so it's been nice writing in you again… even if you are just a dumb book.

P.S. My mask is strength.


	4. Miley

**A/N:** As I'm getting closer to the end of the story I feel like it's getting harder for me to write. Maybe I should have saved my mask for last so that way I could finish with a chapter that was easier for me to write. Anywho, this is in Miley's POV and I wasn't exactly thrilled with my choice for her mask (because of the real Miley's personality, not the character) but I think it fits her character pretty well (no offense to the Miley fans). I need you guy's imput for the next chapter. I keep changing who's POV I want to do it in and I just can't decide. The last mask that I'll be writing about is innocents. You might already see my dilemma. My first thought, before I even started writing this story, was to do a chapter in Lilly's, Oliver's, Miley's, Mikayla's, and Jakes POV but that soon changed once I started looking at the different masks. So, what I need you guys to tell me is whose POV to do it in. Here are the candidates: (Saint) Sarah, Jackson, or Jake. I'm leaning toward Sarah but we don't know _all_ that much about her so it could be kind of hard. Majority rules so be sure to tell me what you want. Thanks and enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer still stands.

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Dear diary,

I'm worried about Lilly. She's been acting sort of distant lately and she won't tell me what's wrong. Any time that I ask her about it she just blows me off with a 'you wouldn't understand' or an 'it's nothing; just some crap I need to work through'. I don't know what to do any more. I'm kinda afraid that she might be hurting herself. God, I hope that's not the case!

She got this weird result to a quiz we took in English class today. It was supposed to be really accurate but I can't help but hope it was wrong about her. The result was supposed to tell us what 'mask' we wear in life. It didn't help convince me that her result was wrong when I got my result back. It described me pretty well. The quiz said that her mask is pain. I'm not positive what that means to her but to me it doesn't mean anything good. I get sick just thinking about her hurting and not letting me in.

I don't really think I look that pretty but people tell me how pretty they think I look a lot. It can be really uncomfortable sometimes when people say that; it makes me feel like I should complement them back but I really don't like complementing people unless I mean it and I don't always know what to say. When people first meet me, they tend to tell me that I'm pretty but when they get to know me they tell me that not only am I pretty but that I'm a truly beautiful person.

Sometimes I feel like people just don't see the real me. I feel like I'm just putting on an act. And I'm not just talking about when I'm pretending to be Hannah Montana! Even when I'm at home, sometimes I feel like no-one even notices when I'm not acting like myself. It makes me feel like no-one really cares enough about me to take the time to break threw my act. I know it sounds cheesy and all, but I really do wish people would notice when I'm just hiding behind a smile.

I get really scared sometimes. Most of the time I can't even figure out what I'm scared about or what is bugging me. It's kind of like how I'm worried about Lilly but it's more than that; I'm scared for myself for some reason. I'm scared to lose somebody close to me again like I did when my mom died. I'm scared I'll lose myself.

I wish my mom was still alive; she could always find a way to help me get through whatever I'm trying to deal with. It's hard without her here. She always had a positive and encouraging outlook on life and always knew just how to cheer me up... or comfort me. From the Loco Hot Coco, to the quiet songs she'd sing at night, from the smile that was contagious, to the laugh that sounded like music, she was always there. I miss her so much but I fight for happiness everyday and try to be someone who she could be proud of.

When I found Lilly, I couldn't help but to latch on to her and hold on for dear life; she's so much like momma. She's so encouraging to me in everything I do and she never brings me down, even when I know she's struggling with something like she is now. She keeps it bottled up so that it doesn't affect anyone else.

I wish she'd let me in sometimes though. She's helped me through so much that I wish she'd just let me help her for once. She told me once that she's sorry that she doesn't let me in all the time but she just has to work through things on her own before she can even consider telling someone else about it. I just hope she knows I'm here for her when she is ready to talk. I love her so much, and I couldn't stand to lose her too. She's the stitches that hold my life together.

Sometimes I just feel like going somewhere that no-one can hear me at and just scream until my lungs burn. I've actually tried that before but I don't think I chose the right place to do it at 'cause a whole bunch of people came running after I screamed and started freaking out and asking if I was okay. Not the smartest thing I've ever done, but not the dumbest either!

I don't really know what to do with my life anymore. I used to have such a mapped out and perfect plan for my future but I'm just not so sure anymore.

It always makes me happy when I'm being Hannah and meet new people who expect me to be an idiot or full of myself or just a pretty face, and get a huge surprise when I act so normal and down to earth. I think that is one of the best parts about having a double life: having the fame and riches but staying grounded and humble.

I'm so grateful for everything I have in my life, even if it doesn't look like I really appreciate the amazing life I have. I'm thankful for my dad and even for Jackson, though I try not to show it. My friends are the only things that keep me going sometimes. I love my fan to death and I'd be nowhere without them. I try to thank God every day for everything He's given me.

The quiz told me that my mask is beauty… but beauty isn't all there is to me.


	5. AN

**A/N:** Okay, so I feel horrible about this but I'm putting off typing up the last chapter because I'm super sleep deprived and I'm still trying to figure out how to do this chapter and who's POV to do it in. I've been hanging with my best friend for a couple of days so I haven't been able to write at all. I _am_ still planning on writing the last chapter, I'm just not sure when it will be. I'm posting this up cause I feel kinda bad about not updating and I wanted you guys to know what's going on and that it's not that I've abandoned it. It could be a little while before I can get the chapter up. So far there hasn't been enough votes to really influence me either way so if you haven't voted and have an opinion of who to do it on just send me a review. Below are the little 'blurbs' that I wrote each chapter from and it would really help me if you guys told me which character you think the innocents blurb fits best. Thanks for reading and sorry about putting off the last chapter. I seem to do that a lot.

**Pain** (this was my result if anyone wanted to know)**  
**

Your mask is pain. For some reason or another you just can't seem to find a positive outlook on life. You get angry when people try to relate with how you feel, because you're convinced they won't understand. Deep down you know there should be a million reasons for people to want to get to know you, but you often find yourself closing yourself off from those around you. You have your select friends, but can't help but want something more. You find opening up difficult, but you do find your ways to let things out. You have your good days, but even through the good times, you feel like there is always going to be those feelings that don't sit right.

**Purity**

Your mask is purity. You are always trying to be true to yourself. You don't care what others think is right or wrong, you always use your own judgment to decide. You often ignore the millions of rules people are trying to place on the way you should live your life, because you know they are meaningless and that you are a good person. Your intentions are usually pure, whether it's wanting to do something nice for someone, or just take some time for yourself. You understand that pure isn't perfect. You get angry, jealous, mean, sometimes stubborn, but you are who you are, and your mask isn't trying to hide it; it's just helping you get by the life you love and enjoy.

**Strength**

Your mask is strength. You try hard to fend for yourself. You do not let others do things for you. You often need to be in control of a situation, even if you can't handle it alone. You are always putting on a front, even if you don't feel strong at all. You don't let others see you when you're vulnerable, because you barely let your self be. Despite your flaws of always trying to act strong, you are a strong person, with strong character that can do anything you put your mind to. A lot of the times you really don't need anyone, and are perfectly capable on your own. However, there are times you find yourself wanting to let someone in but are not really sure how to.

**Beauty**

Your mask is Beauty. You are beautiful inside and out. You aren't too aware of your beauty, although all the people around you are. There are times when you feel like you're wearing a mask, but no one around you can notice the difference with or without it. You may feel vulnerable at times, but you usually get through it. You sometimes wish you had someone to help you through those tough times, but you are always hopeful and don't give up easily. People who first meet you notice your beauty at a glance, but most people notice it when they get to really know you.

**Innocence**

Your mask is innocence. You are innocent but not easily impressionable. You always give people the benefit of the doubt, and are nice to everyone you meet. You never really judge anyone, but you sometimes may judge yourself. Everyone who meets you usually adores you, even if you don't really know it. You always think you may be messing up or doing something wrong, but you're usually not. You don't have a problem restricting yourself from things you think you shouldn't do, although sometimes you're a bit curious. Sometimes people try to take advantage of you, but you don't always notice. Over all you're untainted, friendly, and everyone loves you.


	6. Sarah

**A/N:** I am super pissed at how short this turned out. I decided just to sit down and write this thing out in Sarah's POV and, even though I went back through and tried to fatten it up, it's still super short. Feel free to complain about it cause I'm perfectly fine with that; I just really needed to finish this story. I'm glad I did the story, I'm just a little burnt out on the idea now. I'm really tired cause my friend came over and spent the night last night and I didn't get enough sleep. Sleepy sleepy. Anywho, here's the last chapter. Hope you don't hate me for it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own... duh...

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Dear journal (because I think dear diary is so cliché!),

Today in English class, the teacher had a fantastic idea about something for us to write a paper on! We took this personality quiz with questions that weren't easy to manipulate a result out of, got our results that told us what 'mask' we wear, and then we had to write a paper on it! It was delightful, although a lot of people started to write their paper and didn't like it so they threw it away and started over on a new sheet of paper instead of recycling the paper and using the back! Such a shame… If only they knew of the damage they were doing to our planet!

My result from the quiz was just fascinating! It said that the 'mask' I wear is innocents. And, although I don't agree with everything the result said, I believe it was pretty spot-on!

Almost everyone that knows me, or has just met, me calls me 'Saint' Sarah instead of just Sarah. I do believe I'm very innocent, but I don't think I'm naive or anything! I mean, no-one who knows what we humans are doing to our planet or even our ozone layer could ever be considered 'naive', now could they?! I think not!

Most people believe that they can manipulate me into doing something that I don't want to do because I'm 'naive' but I always show them up! Yes I do. Amber and Ashley think that they are so smart and clever in all their little tricks that they pull. No-one can manipulate Saint Sarah Johnson for use in evil ways!

Even though I have little faith in the human species I still try to be positive and let it radiate from me. A positive attitude can go a long way for some people. Being happy and keeping a smile on your face can be contagious if you share it openly! That's what my mom always tells me! Wearing bright, loud colors can help brighten people's days too.

Some people can be way too hard on themselves and that's never the way to get a happy pink aura! No-one really realizes how negatively stress can effect your environment if you let it. I don't judge other people because I know too well what it's like to be judged.

The quiz told me that most people who meet me adore me and that I don't always know it but I really don't think that's true. Most people don't like even being around me. I'm like a person repellant or something. I don't even really have friends, just acquaintances and thoughts. I have a lot of thoughts; thoughts, ideas and dreams. I'm good at dreaming, that's why Sarahtopia was so easy for me to think up.

I usually do think I'm messing up in whatever I'm doing, but that's because I know I could be doing better! It's not like the homeless are going to be fed and clothed on their own, that's why they're homeless and hungry! And it's not like the animals can protest being used as guinea pigs (please excuse the not intended play on words!) for the heartless make-up companies!

I never have any problems with sticking to my diet or remembering to recycle or anything at all. It's really not as hard as most people make it out to be, especially if you think about all the animals that are killed, to have their lives _taken_, just for other people to have something tasty to eat. Disgusting if you think about it. Still disgusting even if you don't think about it too, I guess. Although I have wondered for a couple years now what is so appealing about meat and even what it tastes like it, seeing as how I haven't tasted meat for years.

I can be really oblivious sometimes. Like sometimes people have come up to me and signed me up for something I didn't even realize I was getting signed up for and I only find out I signed up for it cause someone else tells me. Miley, Lilly and Oliver area always nice enough to tell me if something happened to me that I didn't even realize. I guess you could say it's my 'blonde roots showing'. I get a little lost sometimes when people are talking about something I'm not familiar with.

All in all, I try to keep a positive spirit, a happy smile, a clean mind and a healthy body. I love being able to uplift people just by being happy and positive. It's one of the easiest things for me to be and no matter what; I know I can count on being a shining, optimistic person. If I can make a difference, even for just a second, in someone's life, then it's worth it.

I plan on making the world a happier place, even if I have to take it just one person at a time.


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